I'm so tired yet can't sleep at the same time.
I am ready for my getaway to Indiana to happen now, luckily it's only a month away but still so far & when it does come, it always goes too quickly when we're in it.
Memories keep creeping in when I least think that they will. Especially when I lay down to go to bed. That's when I'm the most restful and restless all at once.
Pictures randomly occur when I'm looking for something else and all of a sudden the waterworks just decide to do their thing. I'm listening to what my body needs with emotions but this healing thing is so linear and all over the place.
The most painful thing about the breakup was that he had me believe all these years that the girls and the grandbabies were mine as well, when in reality they never were. And that hurts the most. Also what I'm never going to understand what went thru his mind to do such a thing. That I'll never get closure from. I've forgiven a lot from this relationship already but it's going to take a long time to from that part of the falsities.
I'm going to meditate and listen to a sleep story to hopefully quiet my mind and get the much needed rest for the evening.
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