Thoughts swirling thru my mind

This week is going to go slower than I'd like. I gathered together old photos from birthday's and it's bittersweet looking thru the memories. I'm attempting to gather everything together. I still cannot believe that he's entering into the end of his teenage years. How can time go so quickly?

Busy day

Right now I'm cozied up in bed and I'm winding down after a busy day of work and an after party from the flower show. I'm going through timelines of pictures to put together a sideshow since I got permission from the almost adult. I'm going to rest and come up with ideas of creativity. I've got some things churning.

One week from today

Count down is on and I'm scrambling to get things pulled together for fun birthday celebrating. This week will be exhilarating and exhausting. I'm still blown away that my oldest is as old as he's going to be. My bonus girls are already past their teens so my mister has been here and done this. I'm happy that will all be headed into this next phase of life. One more to go thru high school after this.

Two days in one, four and five combined

I wasn't feeling it enough to scrawl anything yesterday so I decided to just sit back and let the moment pass until I got an idea and felt the ease to get it out thru here. Bring on the weekend and just a handful of days until I am the parent to an official adult and then until the celebration for him. It's too bad there's a few people unable to come but it'll still be a good time gathered together. I'm just taking all the planning one small step at a time. My mister is helping me slow down so that I won't be as overwhelmed as I often tend to get. I'm attempting to keep my mind at peace.

Three, it's a magic number

We're getting hit with another ginormous snow storm. The fourth one we've had in two weeks! It's supposed to be spring. Mother nature is completely off her rocker and confused. After getting home from doing all of the errands this morning, the smell of snow filled the air. And I'm like nope. That's it, my mister, we're moving somewhere tropical where we don't have to deal with this anymore! Where we can lay on the beach and drink cocktails and you can sell pooka shells to the tourists...

Before the day comes to an end

What a frustrating afternoon of running around to get nothing accomplished that needed to be but then finding out it will eventually be done just makes my head spin, but it will get settled in the long run. I did, however, get the window treatments all hung in my living room which haven't been changed out in over a decade & in fact one set of windows hasn't had shades up there ever that I know of since we've lived in this house! And one got put up in the kitchen. It really brings everything together. And then the evening brought me and my little lady to the school cafeterium for a meeting for her trip. As I sat there, all I could think was that there will only be a few more times that I ever make it in to sit in here again. It's bittersweet. I'm going to need a whole lot of tissues throughout this year and the mister will need to hold my hand a lot too.

Back at it again

It's been a hot minute since I've been itching to be compelled to write out the thoughts flowing from my head to here. I want to try to make it a habit again. I've come quite a long way since I started this and I want to try to continually have a place for the creativity from my mind outward. But I'm not going to force it and let it all come naturally. When it starts to become anything other than that, then I'll step back. Like my mister says, it should be enjoyable and not feel like a "job" or I might start to resent it. And this should just be a labor of love. That's exactly what I want it to be.

Self compassionately flawed

I often focus on the flaws more than the positivity in myself. I am trying to do better to listen to the kind-hearted voice instead.  As much as I want to just see ether good in myself, as I do others, sometimes it's really hard. But really look at all that I have accomplished in the last 5 years that I never in my life thought I could ever do! I am kind and loving and empathetic towards the ones I love and I will make a point to being the same way to myself. I often have gotten so frustrated with my kids and used to quickly turn to yelling and snapping at them instead of patiently listening and I am getting better at this as I have sat back and really listened to them lately. I try to give myself grace and put myself in their shoes. I am a good mother and the way they act to everyone around them reflects that I have done an incredible job raising them. I let the hamster in my head run on its wheel when I need to just let it sleep. I am an amazing woman with a heart that is huge. I love so big with everyone I know. I stress over little things that don't need to be as really, things will work out and that everything will be fine. When I least expect it, some of the coolest things have happened because something didn't work out as planned. I am working on being more patient with myself. I have worked hard to get to where I am. I have a supportive, incredible man in my life. I've got two amazing teenagers who are becoming adults before my eyes. I am working towards a project that came out of a great idea of something I'm passionate about. Life is good. I have a beautiful smile and laugh that radiates from room to room. I have a great sense of humor. I love music and all of the people I've met thanks to the music. My future is bright and beautiful.

Another year, more thoughts pouring out

So after being super gung ho with writing, & doing it every single day, I just sort of fizzled with my enthusiasm. It was starting to feel forced and I wanted it not to be. I needed to get back into feeling it be organic and a flow of thought that I enjoy. But it wasn't quite that. So I stepped away for a while and chose to put it on the back burner until I was feeling it. That is just the surge I needed. I have some creative moments seeping in and sorting their way thru me in so many ways and it's exhilarating. I'm so grateful for my mister to support me in every way as I head into an endeavor that is scary and exciting all at once.  In the next couple of months, my son will officially become an adult. And that blows my mind. Eighteen years ago we were just letting people into the thoughts that parenthood was up and coming in my life. And now we're preparing for college and what's to come next after high school. Time is a crazy thing that goes so much faster than I ever thought possible. And just like that, another year has begun and in the blink of an eye, it'll just turn the pages of the calendar...